Posts Tagged ‘curse’

I’d like to think both. I love someone because she is beautiful and she turns even more beautiful because I love her. Both ‘beautiful’ have little essence of the physical side but more on beauty as a whole, beauty as a person. In order to like someone, you have to find her beautiful. Now now, don’t go all superficial. The beauty I’m referring to doesn’t mean physical beauty only, for me to define ‘beauty’ in words is to undermine beauty. How do you explain to your loved one why you like him or her? In the mandarin version of Fifty First Dates, Louis Khoo was asked that question and so he thought about it for an entire day and finally realized that you don’t need a reason to like someone, you like her simply because you like her. You find her beautiful because you find her beautiful.

SPG(Single Picky Girl) Janice once said she would love to hear a man say to her, “You make me want to be a better man,” just like some actor whose name unfortunately escapes my tiny brain at this point of time in the movie “As Good As It Gets”. Similarly, I would SO love to hear my girl utter the words, “You make me want to be a better woman.”

Just Kidding! It just sounds too weird to hear a woman say this.

I guess women’s concern is that whether her man likes her for her looks only or likes her for just being her. The curse of the beautiful, so life is fair after all.

When it comes to guys, love is a procession of stages. The preliminary stage functions to filter out unsuitable candidates, basic criteria to look out for: LOOKS! We are not looking out for extreme beauties mind you, just someone pleasant looking which is of course subjective to every guy. In fact, my dream girl or girls wouldn’t be the super models nor the famous celebrities, just some sweet and pleasant girl next door.

If you fail the first audition, don’t be discouraged, if the guy is any worth your liking at all, he would spare you a 2nd chance based on the ‘feel’ or ‘chemistry’ between the 2 of you. If his ‘feel’ for you is strong enough to make him want to be a better man and overcome his emphasis on physical beauty, then congratulations, it’s time to dish out Robbie William’s “Better Man”.

“Send someone to love me,
I need to rest in arms … “

Victorian parents were fond of saying, “Handsome is as handsome does.”  They tried their best to prevent their children from becoming vain and self-absorbed.  Duty and virtue were more important than appearance.  Rewards and punishments were awarded on basis of performance, with no special privileges for those who happened to be particularly comely.

Our society has swung to the other extreme in its emphasis on beauty.  Beauty is a commodity that must be serviced by cosmetics, beauty rituals, diets, exercise equipment, and even surgery.  The beautiful live in constant awareness that their beauty will not endure forever.  When age gives them a face like a dried apple, what will happen to their self-esteem?  When society encourages young people to build their self-worth on their appearance, they are truly cursed because their value is determined by something they cannot control.  Age, accidents, or disease can take away that beautiful face and body, without mercy. 

When beauty is over-valued, beautiful people can not be sure whether they are esteemed for who they are, or for the accident of their appearance.  This creates such insecurity that a single pimple is a major disaster.  What greater curse can there be than wondering whether one’s spouse’s love will endure after the bloom and vigor of youth are gone?  Is the relationship based on true love, or nothing more than the acquisition of a trophy to be paraded in front of others? 

On the flip side, beauty often attracts vindictiveness from those envious people who feel put down by the very existence of someone more attractive than themselves.  They will project all kinds of character defects on the unfortunate beauty.  A kind and loving person may be accused of being selfish, conceited, and just plain nasty, just because s/he is exceptionally good-looking.  This type of destructive punishment can turn life into hell.

A beautiful face and body may open up career opportunities, but it can also be an invitation to exploitation.   In his Satires, the ancient Roman poet Juvenal said that parents should be grateful if their girls were humpbacked, because they would not attract unwanted attention and become playthings for nobility.  Not much has changed since then. 

Obsession with personal beauty defies common sense.  A good friend with a physical deformity is worth far more than a beautiful betrayer.  A generous, devoted mother will give her children a good start in life no matter how she looks.  Anyone who has come to believe that being beautiful is all that is required for success in life and relationships is truly cursed.

For a healthy, balanced person, the advantages of beauty probably outweigh the disadvantages.  However, for the person who is lacking a sense of perspective, society’s obsession with beauty can inflict intolerable stress and ravage self-worth.  To break the curse, we must recover our understanding that true beauty is internal, not external.

I’d like to think both. I love someone because she is beautiful and she turns even more beautiful because I love her. Both ‘beautiful’ have little essence of the physical side but more on beauty as a whole, beauty as a person. In order to like someone, you have to find her beautiful. Now now, don’t go all superficial. The beauty I’m referring to doesn’t mean physical beauty only, for me to define ‘beauty’ in words is to undermine beauty. How do you explain to your loved one why you like him or her? In the mandarin version of Fifty First Dates, Louis Khoo was asked that question and so he thought about it for an entire day and finally realized that you don’t need a reason to like someone, you like her simply because you like her. You find her beautiful because you find her beautiful.

SPG(Single Picky Girl) Janice once said she would love to hear a man say to her, “You make me want to be a better man,” just like some actor whose name unfortunately escapes my tiny brain at this point of time in the movie “As Good As It Gets”. Similarly, I would SO love to hear my girl utter the words, “You make me want to be a better woman.”

Just Kidding! It just sounds too weird to hear a woman say this.

I guess women’s concern is that whether her man likes her for her looks only or likes her for just being her. The curse of the beautiful, so life is fair after all.

When it comes to guys, love is a procession of stages. The preliminary stage functions to filter out unsuitable candidates, basic criteria to look out for: LOOKS! We are not looking out for extreme beauties mind you, just someone pleasant looking which is of course subjective to every guy. In fact, my dream girl or girls wouldn’t be the super models nor the famous celebrities, just some sweet and pleasant girl next door.

If you fail the first audition, don’t be discouraged, if the guy is any worth your liking at all, he would spare you a 2nd chance based on the ‘feel’ or ‘chemistry’ between the 2 of you. If his ‘feel’ for you is strong enough to make him want to be a better man and overcome his emphasis on physical beauty, then congratulations, it’s time to dish out Robbie William’s “Better Man”.

“Send someone to love me,
I need to rest in arms … “

Victorian parents were fond of saying, “Handsome is as handsome does.”  They tried their best to prevent their children from becoming vain and self-absorbed.  Duty and virtue were more important than appearance.  Rewards and punishments were awarded on basis of performance, with no special privileges for those who happened to be particularly comely.

Our society has swung to the other extreme in its emphasis on beauty.  Beauty is a commodity that must be serviced by cosmetics, beauty rituals, diets, exercise equipment, and even surgery.  The beautiful live in constant awareness that their beauty will not endure forever.  When age gives them a face like a dried apple, what will happen to their self-esteem?  When society encourages young people to build their self-worth on their appearance, they are truly cursed because their value is determined by something they cannot control.  Age, accidents, or disease can take away that beautiful face and body, without mercy. 

When beauty is over-valued, beautiful people can not be sure whether they are esteemed for who they are, or for the accident of their appearance.  This creates such insecurity that a single pimple is a major disaster.  What greater curse can there be than wondering whether one’s spouse’s love will endure after the bloom and vigor of youth are gone?  Is the relationship based on true love, or nothing more than the acquisition of a trophy to be paraded in front of others? 

On the flip side, beauty often attracts vindictiveness from those envious people who feel put down by the very existence of someone more attractive than themselves.  They will project all kinds of character defects on the unfortunate beauty.  A kind and loving person may be accused of being selfish, conceited, and just plain nasty, just because s/he is exceptionally good-looking.  This type of destructive punishment can turn life into hell.

A beautiful face and body may open up career opportunities, but it can also be an invitation to exploitation.   In his Satires, the ancient Roman poet Juvenal said that parents should be grateful if their girls were humpbacked, because they would not attract unwanted attention and become playthings for nobility.  Not much has changed since then. 

Obsession with personal beauty defies common sense.  A good friend with a physical deformity is worth far more than a beautiful betrayer.  A generous, devoted mother will give her children a good start in life no matter how she looks.  Anyone who has come to believe that being beautiful is all that is required for success in life and relationships is truly cursed.

For a healthy, balanced person, the advantages of beauty probably outweigh the disadvantages.  However, for the person who is lacking a sense of perspective, society’s obsession with beauty can inflict intolerable stress and ravage self-worth.  To break the curse, we must recover our understanding that true beauty is internal, not external.

Victorian parents were fond of saying, “Handsome is as handsome does.”  They tried their best to prevent their children from becoming vain and self-absorbed.  Duty and virtue were more important than appearance.  Rewards and punishments were awarded on basis of performance, with no special privileges for those who happened to be particularly comely.

Our society has swung to the other extreme in its emphasis on beauty.  Beauty is a commodity that must be serviced by cosmetics, beauty rituals, diets, exercise equipment, and even surgery.  The beautiful live in constant awareness that their beauty will not endure forever.  When age gives them a face like a dried apple, what will happen to their self-esteem?  When society encourages young people to build their self-worth on their appearance, they are truly cursed because their value is determined by something they cannot control.  Age, accidents, or disease can take away that beautiful face and body, without mercy. 

When beauty is over-valued, beautiful people can not be sure whether they are esteemed for who they are, or for the accident of their appearance.  This creates such insecurity that a single pimple is a major disaster.  What greater curse can there be than wondering whether one’s spouse’s love will endure after the bloom and vigor of youth are gone?  Is the relationship based on true love, or nothing more than the acquisition of a trophy to be paraded in front of others? 

On the flip side, beauty often attracts vindictiveness from those envious people who feel put down by the very existence of someone more attractive than themselves.  They will project all kinds of character defects on the unfortunate beauty.  A kind and loving person may be accused of being selfish, conceited, and just plain nasty, just because s/he is exceptionally good-looking.  This type of destructive punishment can turn life into hell.

A beautiful face and body may open up career opportunities, but it can also be an invitation to exploitation.   In his Satires, the ancient Roman poet Juvenal said that parents should be grateful if their girls were humpbacked, because they would not attract unwanted attention and become playthings for nobility.  Not much has changed since then. 

Obsession with personal beauty defies common sense.  A good friend with a physical deformity is worth far more than a beautiful betrayer.  A generous, devoted mother will give her children a good start in life no matter how she looks.  Anyone who has come to believe that being beautiful is all that is required for success in life and relationships is truly cursed.

For a healthy, balanced person, the advantages of beauty probably outweigh the disadvantages.  However, for the person who is lacking a sense of perspective, society’s obsession with beauty can inflict intolerable stress and ravage self-worth.  To break the curse, we must recover our understanding that true beauty is internal, not external.